With a little help from Ivan, Jeanne, and Anna Ford, poet Ian McMillan has a go at naming nature on Radio 4 this week. Ivan and Jeanne were two of the hurricanes that walloped Florida earlier this year, and Anna Ford, apart from being a glamorous newscaster, is the name of a rose.

Hurricanes that threaten the United States are alternately male and female, according to a huge list of approved names - occidental for the US, oriental for China and Japan.

If you don't appear on the list you could move down the scale and go for a little depression. A German weather service will name a low after you for a mere 199 euros, although if you want a high it will cost you 299.

Or reach beyond the sky and pick a star. The website www.starlistings.co.uk offers 'a gift from heaven' for a mere 25 quid. 'Choose a name for your star, in a constellation of your choice, giving someone special a unique novelty gift that will shine forever.' Actually it won't shine forever, but most stars last for millions of years, and that's nearly forever.

An astronomer who was given such a star was first pleased, but then disappointed; it turned out to be a tiny dot that he could hardly see with his telescope. Even the handsome gift pack (including framed star chart for $69) doesn't make up for a dull star. Nind you, I once went all the way to Michigan to meet an astronomer with egg on his tie who told me that he believed the Star of Bethlehem was actually a pulsar called psr+1613b. The memory of that deeply boring name suggests to me that all stars would be brighter if they had names we could relate to.

Some people's names are attached to less desirable things - diseases, for example. Messers Alzheimer, Hodgkin, and Parkinson were no doubt proud to have described the diseases that now bear their names, but that's not the sort of thing you might want to wish on your loved ones.

What about flowers, though? Roses in particular have become almost like idealised name-plates. New ones are produced by breeders every year. Some are named after the grower, some after loved ones - Emily Louise - some after famous people - Anna Ford, Princess of Wales, Lilian Baylis, and there is even one romantically called International Herald Tribune.